be a good girl always

“Every morning I sit at the kitchen table over a tall glass of water swallowing pills.
 (So my hands won’t shake.) 
(So my heart won’t race.)
 (So my face won’t thaw.)
 (So my blood won’t mold.) 
(So the voices won’t scream.)
 (So I don’t reach for knives.)
 (So I keep out of the oven.) 
(So I eat every morsel.)
 (So the wine goes bitter.)
 (So I remember the laundry.)
 (So I remember to call.) 
(So I remember the name of each pill.) 
(So I remember the name of each sickness.) (So I keep my hands inside my hands.) 
(So the city won’t rattle.)
 (So I don’t weep on the bus.) 
(So I don’t wander the guardrail.)
 (So the flashbacks go quiet.) 
(So insomnia sleeps.)
 (So I don’t jump at car horns.) 
(So I don’t jump at cat-calls.)
(So I don’t jump a bridge.) 
(So I don’t twitch.) 
(So I don’t riot.) 
(So I don’t slit a strange man’s throat.)”
― Jeanann Verlee

“Teach her to reject likeability. Her job is not to make herself likeable, her job is to be her full self, a self that is honest and aware of the equal humanity of other people.”
― Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

“I have never tried to be a good person, or to appear to be a good person. What I do and what I have done is merely a side effect of my desire to become me. I have only wanted to be me; if people think I'm good, then so be it. If people think I'm bad, then so be it. But if anything, my greatest struggle is to not come across as so good. I always find myself asking, "Why do I keep on giving off this immense impression of goodness?" Can I ask the world, am I not simply allowed to be me; without needing to be classified as either good or bad? Being known as good has its own prison just as much as being bad has its jail bars. I am so tired of the need to classify people. I am me.”
― C. JoyBell C.

So you’re a reader,” My mom sighs, as if somehow this elevates Isabel to yet another realm of perfection.”
― Denis Markell

“I think the skin revolution for women, I will call it, really all started with Mariah Carey. Madonna was pretty risqué too, but she was pretty much always known as a "bad girl." Mariah was a good girl, supposedly Christian, turning very bad, in the late 90's. So then, all the other little girls and teens and women across America thought it would be ok for them to "come out" too essentially, or flaunt whatever they had. Modesty went completely out the window for many women, starting in the late 90's.”
― Lisa Bedrick


The good of boy myth and the nice gal are a kind of social conformity myth. They create a real paradox when put together with the "rugged individual" part of the Success Myth. How can I be a rugged individual, be my own man and conform at the same time? Conforming means "Don't make a wave", "Don't rock the boat". Be a nice gal or a good ol' boy. This means that we have to pretend a lot.

"We are taught to be nice and polite. We are taught that these behaviors (most often lies) are better than telling the truth. Our churches, schools, and politics are rampant with teaching dishonesty (saying things we don't mean and pretending to feel ways we don't feel). We smile when we feel sad; laugh nervously when dealing with grief; laugh at jokes we don't think are funny; tell people things to be polite that we surely don't mean."
- Bradshaw On: The Family”
― John Bradshaw,

“I try to ignore the fact that I can feel Kieren's hard-on against my ass and that it's perfectly pressing into me. I tell my suddenly happy cunny to stop quivering with excitement. Naughty, puss, that's creepy Kieren rubbing on you. Stop purring, dammit!”
― Erica Chilson

“Remember what a good girl I was? Remember how meek and pleasing I was to everybody? For the first time in my life I could just be.”
― Lev Grossman

“You suppose that you could walk around, but your feet tell you that the map leads directly through the briar wall, and you can’t stray from the path that has been laid out for you. Remember what happened to the little girl, your great-grandmother, in her red woolen cape. Maps protect their travelers, but only if the travelers obey the dictates of their maps. This is what you have been told.”
― Kelly Link

“The countess's dispassionate gaze fell on Cassandra first, and she motioned for the girl to approach. "The posture is merely adequate," she observed, "but that can be corrected. What are your accomplishments, child?"
Having been prepared for the question in advance, Cassandra replied hesitantly. "My lady, I am able to sew, draw, and watercolor. I play no instruments, but I am well-read."
"Have you studied languages?"
"A little French."
"Have you any hobbies?"
"No, ma'am."
"Excellent. Men are afraid of girls with hobbies." Glancing at Kathleen, Lady Berwick remarked in an aside, "She's a beauty. With a bit more polish, she'll be the belle of the season.”
― Lisa Kleypas

“You and Derek are good together," Vanessa added. She looked so sincere.
Tianna wished she'd smirk or give her the slightest reason to hate her. She wanted to, but she couldn't. Vanessa was too genuine and good for anyone to dislike.”
― Lynne Ewing

“Wasn't it quite difficult being a wicked girl? Even more difficult than being a good one?”
― Jean Rhys


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